Once upon a time, three partially-related sisters flew on planes to unite with a fourth (and fifth because we count Robb) in the foggy lands of San Francisco. I arrived first and Ellen was an hour late picking me up. She explained she had been scrubbing the grout in the foyer/bathroom and got a little carried away. She had a crazy look in her eye and I couldn’t tell if it was sleep deprivation, bleach fumes melting her brains, or hunger. It was hunger.
So we took care of the situation which was specifically of the deep dish pizza variety and headed to Oakland to see Ellen and Robb’s apartment where a welcome gift of $3 eBay leggings awaited each of us.
Then it was off to Pixar to see Robb in his natural habitat. I can’t tell you details about the experience because it is top secret but just know that the answer to every fantastical question you have about working there is yes. Maybe I can get away with telling you that Robb decorated his office as an extremely convincing taqueria and you can just build the rest of the Pixar campus in your mind’s eye from there.
The next morning, we cruised to Alcatraz which was eerie and steep. Our audio tour was a little slow moving but informative. I didn’t know about the American Indian occupation of the island in the late 60s or that Al Capone had syphilis. I struggled intermittently with the fact that my headphones had touched a lot of other ears before my own but sometimes you just have to do stuff in the name of learning.
We did eight-plus miles of walking that first day and dominated the Embarcadero. And just when we were feeling like we could go on no more, we reached Ghirardelli Square and a nice lady with an apron materialized and handed us each a piece of sea salted caramel chocolate. This refueling allowed just enough energy for us to down an additional banana split, a dark chocolate sea salt sundae, and hop on BART to get us back to Oakland and into our soft clothes.
Day two, we drove a winding path to the Muir Woods. I think we were smart to arrive early before the masses so that our minds could be silently blown as we looked up and up again at those redwood beasts. This walk was a highlight for me.
On the drive back to San Fran from Muir Woods, we thought it appropriate to play every song on our iPhones that had the word California in it. Next time you’re in the bay area, I urge you to crank 2Pac’s “California Love” as you cross the G.G. Bridge.
Please stay tuned for #sanfransister Part 2 where we unlock the ancient secrets of Chinese Mai Tais and make a public display of our love of Robin Williams in drag.